Just Don’t Step in Any

I have a problem.

I get annoyed. About Little things.

Well, not EVERY Little thing, but a lot of Little things – like, for instance, the proper pronunciation of words.

I was driving home today after dropping my aunt off at the airport and was listening to my second favorite radio station, when the announcer said the word calzone. However, instead of saying it right, he said it like this: cal-zohn.

Look, calzone is Italian, which means that you ALWAYS pronounce the last vowel. ALWAYS. When you say calzone, say it like this:


Of course, to really get it right you hafta lift your head a bit on the ‘ZO’ and wave your hand. You know how it’s done. 

That got me thinking about MY neck of the woods. Humus, that quintessentially Middle Eastern chick pea paste, is NOT ‘Huh Muss’. It’s Choo-moos (with the CH like Bach). Israel is NOT ‘Is-real’ (which it isn’t). It’s actually ‘Yis-ra-el’. And, it’s NOT Saudi Arabia. It’s just Saudi, and pronounced ‘Sah-oo-dee’.

You can always tell when someone’s been to Saudi.

Oh, and one more thing – and I wonder if this is why Iranians hate Americans so much. You don’t say Shiite like this: Shee-ayt. It’s really pronounced like this:


Now, go send a bunch of 18-to-20-something young men and women to Iraq and ask them to tell the difference between Soo-ni and Shee-eet. Draw your own conclusions about how much fun they are going to have with that.

Just don’t step in any.

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