My Furniture Attacked Me

I was attacked by my refrigerator this morning.

All that I did was pull out a bottle of milk and, when I closed the door, the refrigerator bit me on the ankle. And, that’s not all. Last week, I was attacked by a table, two chairs and a doorway.

You laugh, but I have scars to prove it. I even said bad words.

Have you ever had that ‘happen’ to you? Get mad at your hammer because it mashed your thumb? Swear at your car because it won’t start? Bang on your computer when it’s a little slow in connecting to the Internet?

It’s silly, right?

Your little boy throws a rock at the neighbor’s little boy, and then cries when the rock is thrown back at him.

Your first reaction? Shock, horror, outrage.

Unless, of course, you know that your little boy tends to throw rocks at the neighbors.

The point is not so silly. We human beings like to look at the world in a simplistic way. We concentrate on results, because intentions are harder to discover. We see human suffering and don’t pause to consider that it might be the result of bad behavior.

That’s how the conflict with the Palestinians works.

In 2000, the Palestinians begin a wave of horrific suicide bombings. In response, Israel stops Palestinians from entering Israel and puts up a wall.

In the resulting economic devastation, the Palestinians claim abuse at the hands of Israel.

We believe them.

The Tanzim shoot at my neighborhood from Beit Jala. Israel shoots back, devastating parts of Beit Jala.

We shake our heads at Israeli aggression.

An explosive buried in a beach in Gaza, explodes – killing a Palestinian family. Hamas fires more than 70 Kassam rockets into Israel in three days.

We blame Israeli artillery fire – and not the Palestinian idiot who caused the beach explosion.

And, we will sympathize with the Palestinians, until (God forbid) an Israeli family is killed by a Kassam rocket.

We apportion blame based on body count.

… which is like blaiming your furniture for attacking me.

Does anyone know if that falls under assault and battery? Or, domestic violence. I need to know for the police report.