Back in the 80s, they used to joke about Apple and their t-shirts. Every time someone in marketing went to the bathroom, they decided to print another t-shirt. Apple was THAT BIG into t-shirts.

Well, I’m sorta that way with websites. Whenever I have a ‘brilliant idea’ for a new writing project I rush over to Hover.com, register a new domain name and start working on a website. Of course, I define the word ‘working’ rather loosely.

I have more than a few unfinished websites.

So anyway, I’ve got this new domain name, www.goat-face.com, and I’m going to start working on the website real soon.

And, what am I going to be doing with that site? I’m going to revolutionize the study of eschatology! I’m going to search for the king of fierce countenance, (in Hebrew: Melech Az-Pinim, or King Goat-face) by comparing pictures of world leaders to pictures of goats!

You can probably see how the possibilities for fame and fortune are literally endless.

Oh, and who is this King Goat-Face? He’s that bad dude in Daniel 8 who does this:

Daniel 8:24 And his power shall be mighty, but not by his own power; and he shall destroy wonderfully, and shall prosper and do his pleasure; and he shall destroy the mighty ones and the holy people.

Daniel 8:25 And through his policy he shall cause craft to prosper in his hand; and he shall magnify himself in his heart, and in their security shall he destroy many: he shall also stand up against the prince of princes; but he shall be broken without hand.

This is a VERY bad guy, and he sounds an awful lot like the Antichrist – although, he doesn’t HAVE to be the Antichrist. Technically, he could just be another version of Hitler. Of course, that’s pretty much what The Antichrist is going to be – another version of Hitler.

So maybe I should rephrase my goal statement for the website:

I’m going to search for the Antichrist by comparing pictures of world leaders with pictures of a goat.

And, I will be using a rigid application of the scientific method: observation then hypothesis then experimentation. We will comb through the powerful people who originate from the Alexandrian empire and see if they look like a goat.

Seriously, goat comparisons will have to be involved. We’re doing science here.

Of course, our goat-face model will undoubtedly need adjusting along the way as we develop the idea of what a goat-face looks like. We may even have to interview goats to get their input on what a good goat-face is, versus a bad goat-face.

We will also develop hypotheses about WHO goat-face is, and test those hypotheses to see whether the individual in question is the proper candidate for King Goat-Face.

And, after much thinking, I’ve decided to run our first experiment. Here’s the picture of a famous leader from the empire of Alexander the Great:

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Here’s the picture of a goat:

Goat Face

I don’t know about you, but I’m almost prepared to call this ‘case closed’!

That really IS a stunning resemblance.

And yes, that IS Mahmoud “Goat-Face” Ahmadinejad – our first candidate for Melech Az Pinim, and until we can find someone who looks even MORE like a goat than him… he may turn out to be our ONLY candidate for King Goat-Face.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the ‘gold standard’ for goat-faceness.

I like it.

But, let’s take a moment to examine the issue on a more serious note. Those of you who believe that az means something other than ‘goat’ are most likely correct. I seriously doubt that the Lord was instructing us to look for kings that had faces resembling a goat. Here are a few (probably more accurate) words that we might translate az into:

  • strong
  • intense
  • fierce
  • powerful
  • mighty
  • fervent
  • vehement

If you look at our boy Mahmoud up there, all of those words fit. He probably has the most intense face that I have ever seen on a national leader of any kind. You certainly wouldn’t want it staring at you for very long.

So, to maintain objectivity and empirical, scientific standards as we compare pictures of world leaders to pictures of goats, we’ll also be applying a ‘fierceness’ test to our findings. Our best candidates for goat-face will be FIERCELY goat-faced.

Check this space to see when www.goat-face.com is up and running.

Ba -ah -ah -ah!

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