THREE MORE DAYS!!

I can’t believe it. It’s a Conspiracy!

They’re going to make me stay here for another THREE DAYS! THREE MORE DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL!!!!

ARGH!!

Earlier in the day, I was given a bit of rather ominous sounding information. My admitting doctor was coming specifically to talk to me. You don’t get that kind of treatment unless you’ve got cancer, or something.

Well, it turns out that what I have is in the ‘or something’ category. The lab results for the biopsy came back, and it looks like I’ve got…

(drum roll please)

Hench-Schonlein Purpura, or HSP!

It’s apparently an auto-immune version of vasculitis. Why can’t I just have a really bad case of ankle acne?

I mean, tomorrow will mark a full week in the hospital, and they’re not just going to keep me here an extra day. They’re keeping me here an extra THREE DAYS! This is going to drive me nuts.

Of course, I was nuts long before I ever reached the hospital.

The upside is that Kwei and I have had the chance to meet two patients already, and it looks like we’ll be seeing a third. Basically, I will have been in the hospital for three times as long as anyone else who has been in my hospital room.

And, I feel fine. Really.

No fever. No pain… well, when I stand up my ankles ache, but… ankle ache shouldn’t put you in the hospital, right?

Outside of this really ugly wound on the side of my left ankle, I am completely and utterly fine. Seriously. Really, really fine.

Am I being kept here as a part of some secret medical experiment?

Are they testing some new biological weapon that targets technical writers?

Maybe they need a Hebrew speaker to enhance the linguistic diversity of this hospital ward?

Are they secretly appalled at my lack of Mandrin and are planning to implement some radical linguistic training program?

Could this be a conspiracy organized by a secret cabal of nurses with nefarious intent towards tall guys with glow-in-the-dark hair?

HELP! HELP! I’ve been kidnapped and held against my will! Help!

Well, I’ll stop here and wait to hear what the doctor says. This had better be good.

———————————-

Later in the day…

This afternoon, a doctor come into my hospital room and told me that I had vasculitis. But, he did promise to see if I could be released today.

He said that vasculitis patients don’t normally need to be admitted to hospital for treatment. Outpatient treatment is usually fine.

I COULD HAVE TOLD HIM THAT!!

Like I said. No fever. No coughing. No sneezing. No weakness (although, if I am here for another day, there will be some weekness involved, as in a whole week of weekness.).

When I walk down the hallway, the only thing that you can tell is wrong with me is the bandages around my ankles, the hospital bracelet, and the wild caged animal look on my face.

Oh dear, a doctor has come to talk about my hemorrhoids. Yes, my favorite subject, my hemorrhoids.

GET ME OUTTA HERE!!

6 thoughts on “THREE MORE DAYS!!

  1. …Oops…you poor fellow. I’d have been sent to the loony farm a long time ago. This will give you a chance to write a bit about the Taiwanese medical system! I’d like to hear about that as Michelle, being a Taiwanese educated nurse, is always bragging how different their systems is than here in the U.S.

    Anyway, hang in there..do God’s work, be good, and DON’T eat too many “KING” burgers.

    Hugs and love to you both….Thom and Michelle :)

  2. Ahhhhh John……. I hate to remind you: THIS IS NOT WESTERN MEDICINE :) I had a 23 day stay in a Russian hospital, until I escaped and went to a Western Clinic, when I was living in St Petersburg (memories of CATS roaming my room and the halls still give me pause!!!!). Aside from that bit of trivia, I am praying for you buddy!!!
    Just remember this – if anyone comes in with a long hose and 2 buckets of water…..RUN OUTTA THERE!!!

  3. I could be that they see an American and are thinking $$$$$$$$$ “Let’s keep him here a few more days and torture him with the food and in the meanwhile, drain his bank account”. I HATE hospitals and doctors aren’t my best friends. I mean they have a business that is called “a practice” and THAT is exactly what they are doing on you John. Grrrrrr. Hang in there and get well soon. This will all be a distant memory before you know it.

  4. Hey Kevin,

    Hmmm… yeah, there might be some of that here. Having said that, the private patient rate here is a fraction of what it is in the US of A, and I don’t think that the quality of care is any less. Although, I might be in one of the top hospitals in the Taiwan – which just happens to be a 20 minute walk from my apartment.

    My love to everyone, and an extra hug to your munchkins!

  5. Oy VEH!

    Yessss… I will keep that in mind. Two buckets and a long hose…

    I really don’t know of anyone who has had such a unique set of experiences. (Poor Steve… Good thing that he’s COMPLETELY BLIND!)

    Good to hear from you! (And, tell Steve that he really is one of my role models.)

    – JL

  6. Hey Henry,

    Well, Michelle has much to brag about. The system here is advanced, efficient, and surprisingly inexpensive. I thank God that I have health insurance to cover all this, but even I didn’t… well, I don’t think that it would have been any more expensive to me than it would have been in the US WITH HEALTH COVERAGE!

    Really. Jump in.

    NOTE: You cannot get health insurance here until you’ve been in-country for something like six months. (Or is it nine?)

    Good to hear from you!

    – JL

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