Having Fun at the Hospital

You can get in a lot of trouble in the hospital by just being curious – especially, if you have no idea what the sign says, but you feel like the button REALLY wants to be pushed.

For the first two days here, I was permanently attached to an IV, with an IV stand built for tiny people. Why does size matter when it comes to your IV? Well, if the hydraulic pump that runs your body’s fluid system rises ABOVE that little drip-drip thingy in your IV, it stops dripping. In other words, if your heart gets too high, your IV starts SUCKING your blood, instead of adding all those delightful chemicals you came to the hospital for in the first place.

And yes, there are LOTS of chemicals that they are putting into me, and it’s a bit disturbing how slowly my body is reacting to them. Of course, the human body is a strange machine. All kinds of good things could be happening, and I’d have no idea.

Apparently this is also true about all kinds of bad things, which is why I wound up here in the first place.

Anyway, hospitals are fascinating places for the terminally curious, and being taken off the leash for a couple hours at a time allows me to go exploring. For instance, this morning, when my latest antibiotic infusion was done, I escaped my hospital breakfast and made a bee-line for the Burger King downstairs.

Yes, this is Taiwan, and yes this is a hospital. They have a Burger King downstairs, and I think that it saved my life – at least that part of it that has to suffer through what they call breakfast here.

ugh.

Uh, where was I… oh yes, discovery. You may not know this, but those little coffee creamer thingies… the ones that come with your coffee at Burger King, McDonalds, etc. in GodBlessAmerica… Did you know that today was the day when I finally discovered how to open one properly?

That’s right, you flip the little plastic tab all the way back until it snaps, and then you pull off the plastic seal. Very cool.

I’m telling you. Hospitals are places where you can discover all KINDS of things – especially if your wife has left you alone for a few hours.

4 thoughts on “Having Fun at the Hospital

  1. WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING IN THE HOSPITAL. I FIGURE THE ‘MOSQUITO BITES’ HAVE GONE SEPTIC? I AM SO SORRY, AND NOT JUST FOR YOU, BUT FOR THOSE CARING FOR YOU. LOL

    I EXPECT A PHONE CALL WHEN YOU ESCAPE AND MAKE IT HOME.

  2. I’ll call. I promise. The Internet only works in the lobby of the hospital, and it’s slow. And, I can only get on when they aren’t poking me with needles or practicing their bedside manner. – JL

  3. You are cracking me up John… I really miss our coffee times together. Next time I get a chance, I’ll have to check out those little coffee creamer things at Burger King. :)

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