AAAGH! Ankle-itis!

Would you believe, that this is the first time that I’ve ever been in the hospital?

I wouldn’t believe it myself – except for the fact that I’m in one of those adjustable hospital beds with a needle stuck in my arm dripping heavy antibiotics into my body.

And, all of this because of a lousy mosquito bite. Who would have thought that a female of another species could take a guy down so hard? And yes, for those of you who don’t know, it is the female of the mosquito species that seeks to make your life miserable and infect you with something really nasty-awful.

Male mosquitoes? Harmless.

They’re just hanging out with guys near stagnant bodies of water drinking fruit juice and waiting for an interesting female to buzz by.

And, by the way, the mosquito isn’t the only female out there after your blood. Have you noticed that most nurses are women? And, they’re the ones that stick you with sharp pointy objects every four hours?

Right. Nurses and mosquitoes. I’m sure that there’s something deep and meaningful about that, but I’m not feeling very philosophical right now. You’re going to have to figure that one out yourself.

Anyway, I’m sure that you’re wondering what dreadful disease has dumped me into a hospital bed somewhere in Taipei. Well, I’d like to know the answer to that one too. Or, maybe I would already know if I understood Mandarin – which I don’t. Hebrew was hard enough to learn, thank you very much.

Whatever this disease is, it’s a nasty, flesh-eating bug that gained entry to my system via the aforesaid mosquito bite. A mosquito bite on my ankles. Yes, my ankles. You’d think that I’d land in the hospital for a more dignified reason. But, no, I have an ankle infection – an infection of the ankle. Ankle-itis.

Is there a Latin term for ankle-itis?

Just remember, if you’re in the tropics, treat mosquito bites and other kinds of wounds with more respect than you would if you were in some dry place in the Middle East, like oh… Israel.

Now, if I could only get a WIFI connection in my room, I’d feel better. I’m feeling a little disconnected.

7 thoughts on “AAAGH! Ankle-itis!”

  1. Hey John,
    I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I HATE hospitals. With what they charge, you think they could at least provide a good meal. Noooo some of the most putrid food around is found in hospitals. I can only image what is available in Taipei. Fish head Jello? I got my bill from being in for four days with diverticulitus and realized that I should have eaten all the Jello they could afford! As for nurses… You are spot on! What I want to know is why do they have to come take your blood in the middle of the night. I think they are more like vampires but I like your mosquito comparison. Tell your lovely wife that I send my best and get well soon.

  2. Hi John,
    Sorry to hear about getting a needle stick from a tiny bug with a spanish name and nasty record for spreading disease. I am sure you are in “good” hands in Taiwan, they do have a very well organized health system and access to innovative ways to treat illnesses. Just try to avoid the students, I am sure they will sic them on you as you are one of the few tall and pink westerners to grace their hospital.

    I hope you feel better! Please keep us updated!

    – Your brother

  3. Hey John…OOPS! Start having to sleep with a mosquito net. Told Michelle and she said you will get very good care in Taipei. You’ll have to blog about your experience with the Taiwan medical system once you are back up on your ANKLES.

    Peace and love to you both…

    God’s blessings,

    Thom and Michelle

  4. Hey Kevin,

    Will do!

    Would you believe that the hospital food here is actually worse? It’s CHINESE hospital food. No, it’s AUTHENTIC Chinese hospital food.

    Okay, so it’s not THAT bad, but once I was able to roam the halls, I dumped the food program. I’m hanging out at Burger King from now on.

    But, aside from the food problem (and the lack of ENGLISH!) the medical system is awesome. First World care at Third World rates.

    Tell everyone that I said ‘hi’. Sorry to hear about the hamster. (Yes, Hamster news even makes it to Taiwan.)


    – JL

  5. John! So sad to hear of your illness, my friend. Other than that, how are things going?

    I was in the hospital a couple weeks ago – pulmonary emboli and blood clots. The morphine and french toast were good, though. Praying for you and a speedy recovery.

  6. French toast and morphine?

    Sign me up!

    Although, if I have to have the pulmonary embolism and blood clot, I’ll pass.

    Thanks for the prayers, though. THOSE are always appreciated.

    – JL

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