Would you believe, that this is the first time that I’ve ever been in the hospital?
I wouldn’t believe it myself – except for the fact that I’m in one of those adjustable hospital beds with a needle stuck in my arm dripping heavy antibiotics into my body.
And, all of this because of a lousy mosquito bite. Who would have thought that a female of another species could take a guy down so hard? And yes, for those of you who don’t know, it is the female of the mosquito species that seeks to make your life miserable and infect you with something really nasty-awful.
Male mosquitoes? Harmless.
They’re just hanging out with guys near stagnant bodies of water drinking fruit juice and waiting for an interesting female to buzz by.
And, by the way, the mosquito isn’t the only female out there after your blood. Have you noticed that most nurses are women? And, they’re the ones that stick you with sharp pointy objects every four hours?
Right. Nurses and mosquitoes. I’m sure that there’s something deep and meaningful about that, but I’m not feeling very philosophical right now. You’re going to have to figure that one out yourself.
Anyway, I’m sure that you’re wondering what dreadful disease has dumped me into a hospital bed somewhere in Taipei. Well, I’d like to know the answer to that one too. Or, maybe I would already know if I understood Mandarin – which I don’t. Hebrew was hard enough to learn, thank you very much.
Whatever this disease is, it’s a nasty, flesh-eating bug that gained entry to my system via the aforesaid mosquito bite. A mosquito bite on my ankles. Yes, my ankles. You’d think that I’d land in the hospital for a more dignified reason. But, no, I have an ankle infection – an infection of the ankle. Ankle-itis.
Is there a Latin term for ankle-itis?
Just remember, if you’re in the tropics, treat mosquito bites and other kinds of wounds with more respect than you would if you were in some dry place in the Middle East, like oh… Israel.
Now, if I could only get a WIFI connection in my room, I’d feel better. I’m feeling a little disconnected.