We Think That He’s Lying

I’m not good with subtexts.

I think that it’s a guy thing.

I’m not married, and don’t even have a girlfriend, but I know that most guys live in terror of questions like: ‘Do you love me?’

or: Do you think that my hips look too wide?

or: Do you notice anything different about me?

My answer, of course, would be: Yes, I love you VERY much. Your hips DO look too wide. And NO, I did NOT notice anything different about you. 

(Which is probably why I am not married and still single.)

Why are questions like that so terrifying? ‘cuz they often come with a subtext. ‘Do you love me’ can really mean: Can I have what’s in your bank account? ‘Do you think that my hips look to wide?’ can really mean: I think that you need to stay home with the kids every night while I go to the gym. And ‘Do you notice anything different about me?’ can mean ANYTHING!

That last one can turn even the bravest of the brave into quivering mush.

But, wait a second. We guys do the same thing. We say ‘I love you’, when all we want is… you-know-what. We say that our wife’s new hair style is pretty, when we think that it’d look better if the dog had been chewing on it. We buy a new car, not because the old one stopped working, but because a new car says ‘look at how successful I am’. We put patriotic bumper stickers on our car, not because we care about our country, but because everyone in your neighborhood has them. And then, there are those neighborhood landscaping competitions. I hate those (‘cuz I always lose).

But, more often than not, we don’t even bother with subtext. We guys just flat out lie. In fact, we are such liars that when someone tells us the truth, we assume that they are lying.

That’s part of the reason why we aren’t dealing with Iran’s Ahmadinejad properly. When he says that he wants to destroy Israel, the rest of the world thinks that he’s lying.

4 thoughts on “We Think That He’s Lying”

  1. Uh NO! They don’t think he’s lying they just DONT THINK. Ignorance is bliss. Everyone is focused on self, they’re getting into fist fights and trampled upon over a stupid video game box OR they are focused on finding the last ipod shuffle in the tri county area, making a buck, finding true love or just simply existing in this world, taking up space, breathing in and out with no purpose what so ever.

    Those who lived thru 9-11 dont forget. Life goes on though. I wonder how many New Yorkers have become active in the fight against terror since that event?

    Maybe the ignorant ones just think the threat is so far away, except that it’s so close it’s breathing down their necks. They just think it’s a draft and shut the window, pull the drapes and vege in front of yet another episode of Lost or CSI in la la land. ARG!

    My girlfriend says “All men are PIGS” Thanks for clueing us women in on the fact that they are BIG FAT LIARS as well.

    Didn’t your sister ever tell you that “Liars will be fryers?” This means they will all go to H E double french fries. I love french fries dont you?

    I sure think pot bellied pigs are cute. I once rescued one from a burning house. Poor lil guy smelled like smoked pork AND they make great house pets. Maybe I should get me a pig!

    Oh, and can we just refer to Ahmadinejad as Fred? Dudes got a long name.

    John “I love you” and whenever I read your blog my heart goes ker thump ker thumpety thump.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this blog!


  2. When guys say “I love you” all they want is THAT? I thought us girls just did that. HuH?

    Who’s this Ahmadinejad guy? Is he Mohammed Ali’s brother? I think Sassy is right lets call him Fred.

  3. No Clueless that’s the Pres of Iran. He thinks he’s the next something or other. Some special boy who will bring in the new world government. You know take over the world. I think he’s been readin to many of those books from the Left Behind series. He’s pushing for an atomic weapon. If someone doesn’t stop him all hells gonna break loose.

  4. Ya’ll shouldn’t be talkin about THAT!

    Let’s stick with Fred. He’s insane and extremely dangerous. I agree with John. HE MUST BE STOPPED! The entire world needs to wake up to the danger of him getting his hands on any component of a nuclear weapon. He is full of hate toward Israel and any country who supports her. he is very very dangerous. Of course, there is always another nut case to take his place. A Hitler for every generation.

    John, do you really think God would allow the nuclear destruction of Israel now? I could see Him allowing the enemy to get weapons of mass destruction. The setting of the stage if you will. you know, gradual. There will be an end, but we already know who wins. Incredibly fascinating when you think about it.

    It’s a shame people don’t know you know? Makes our purpose here on earth chrystal clear.

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