I’m not good with subtexts.
I think that it’s a guy thing.
I’m not married, and don’t even have a girlfriend, but I know that most guys live in terror of questions like: ‘Do you love me?’
or: DoÂ you think that my hips look too wide?
or: Do you notice anything different about me?
My answer, of course, would be: Yes, I love you VERY much. Your hips DOÂ look too wide. And NO, I did NOT notice anything different about you.Â
(Which is probably why I am not married and still single.)
Why are questions like that so terrifying? ‘cuz they often come with a subtext. ‘Do you love me’ can really mean: Can I have what’s in your bank account? ‘DoÂ you think that my hips look to wide?’ can really mean:Â I think that you need to stay home with the kids every nightÂ while I go to the gym. And ‘Do you notice anything different about me?’Â can mean ANYTHING!
That last oneÂ can turn even the bravest of the brave into quivering mush.
But, wait a second. We guysÂ do the same thing. We say ‘I love you’, when all we want is…Â you-know-what. We say that our wife’s new hair style is pretty, when we think that it’d look betterÂ if the dog had been chewing on it. WeÂ buy a new car, not because the old one stopped working, but because a new car says ‘look at how successful I am’. We put patriotic bumper stickers on our car, not because we care about our country, but because everyone in your neighborhood has them. And then, there are those neighborhood landscaping competitions. I hate those (‘cuz I always lose).
But, more often than not, weÂ don’t even bother with subtext. We guys just flat out lie. In fact, we are such liars that when someone tells us the truth, we assume that they are lying.
That’s part of the reason why we aren’t dealing with Iran’s Ahmadinejad properly. When he says that he wants to destroy Israel, the rest of the world thinks that he’s lying.